Rant
There was a point I reached not so very long ago where I started questioning myself.
Am I doing what I should be doing with my life?
Am I giving this life -- this world -- what I have to give it?
Am I giving my wife, my family, all that I can give them?
Am I being the me I was intended to be?
And who is the me I was intended to be anyway?
Is it the me I am now or is it a me that I once was or a me that I have not yet become?
One after another the questions came ... and with each new question, the pangs of doubt grew.
I'm 40 years old. I've been married for three years and I have a house, a truck, two cats and a dog and a wonderful family.
But generally speaking, I'm not very happy, especially lately. Happiness comes in short, fading bursts. Worry tends to linger. Although I wouldn't necessarily say I'm depressed, when I hear commercials about anxiety and depression treatment, I recognize myself in the symptoms. Often I feel like I'm pedaling a bike up a never-ending incline in the lowest gear possible with nothing to look at on either side of me.
To make matters worse, I'm now questioning whether my chosen career -- a career which I once truly loved -- is something I'm still comfortable doing. I can't tell if it's a combination of everything else in my life making work worse or if it's what I'm currently doing in my career that's weighing down the rest of my life.
Is this just my version of a mid-life crisis?
To top it all off ... our Internet connection is not up to snuff at the moment. What's a video, music and picture-loving blogger to do?
14 comments:
You may have the winter blues.
And for the record, everyone I know, including me, answers yes to all the questions on the radio ads for anxiety and depression. They're trying to get you to participate in their free study.
One day, and one stressor at a time. Make a list. Prioritize the list. And then bang them out. Are they things you can control or change for the better?
Just know that you're one lucky dude. We're all peddling up that incline with you, and sometimes the weather is better on some days than others. Its ok.
Dude today is Friday not Monday...buck up little camper!!
But realy we all are in the same boat at one time or another. It's just the same ole same of everyday life that gets us down.
Turning 40 or in my case pretty danm close does suck! But it is what it is....
First of all, listening to those commercials.....bad idea. According to them, I have erectile dysfunction.
Secondly, its your 40th year. Thats the year we question ourselves and our place in the universe. Its normal to question yourself. Where do you think derby came from? I was missing something and I didn't know what....you'll find that thing that makes you feel joy again...just keep looking.
Damn you 40 already?? Old bastige you are.. In all seriousness, give me a call sometime Jeffro, I'll at least make you laugh.
Stay off the "jungle gym" in your back yard!!!
and go visit your corner watering hole, and jam to some flock of seagals..(haha, how did we ever listen to that stuff)
Who am I
focus on the positives and make the best of your second half of life when its over its OVER. if you dont know who this is once a friend your a friend for life whenever or whatever you need. Find the scenery along the way you are not alone
I am sure "this too will pass". It is normal to question your life, and your accomplishments. Question them, answer them, and move on!
Good luck with that!
Kathleen
If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
What a wonderful world this would be
There'd be no trouble and no strife
Just a big happy life
With a bluebird in every tree
I could see right, no wrong
I could see good, no bad
I could see all the good things
In life I've never had
If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
What a wonderful world this would be
If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
Smiling faces would greet me all the while
Like a lovely work of art
It would warm my weary heart
Just to see thru the eyes of a child
See the world through the eyes of a child!
re: See the world through the eyes of a child!
Easy to say, but a child doesn't have bills, a boss, asshole co-workers, and responsibility!!!
Jeffro, Barney here, I myself am going thru this "mid-life" issue. I have really not much joy right now in my life except the support of Valerie and family. Although that is not enough with me right now. I am lucky to be alive with what has happened to me of late. If you EVER want to talk call please!! I am learning that that is what is best for me, and it really works. Hope to hear from you either E-Mail phone or lunch
ANYTIME!!!! b-man
joebob114@aol.com
302.376.5671
Thanks Barn... I'll get in touch soon to set up lunch over your way... Maybe the truck stop there on 301. Good food.
Dear try again...
Really???!!!
That comment was not meant for you, which explains why you don't know what's behind it.
... 'If I could see the world' is a Patsy Cline song, for those of you who didn't know .... I'm a Patsy fan
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